His birth story is nothing like my birth plan. I knew I had my expectations set high (as usual) and told myself not to be disappointed if things went a different way. I knew this was out of my control to a certain degree. Zac and I went to dinner + a movie on Friday, September 27th. Towards the end of the movie I was in some pain. I thought it was just from sitting so long with non maternity shorts on (haha). We started timing contractions once we got home. They were about ten minutes apart to start out but then I was just in constant pain and couldn't figure out when one started or ended. We decided to try to sleep and thought maybe I wasn't really in labor yet. Our power went out (around 2:30 am) and I wasn't able to go back to sleep (I HATE when the power goes out. I get anxious.) I got up and I was in lots of pain. My back was killing me and I knew it had to be labor or something else was wrong. I called the doctor and spoke with the nurse (around 4:00 am). She said that she was almost positive the doctor would tell me to go straight to the hospital and to get my stuff together. We hung a flashlight from the shower rod and I took a shower. Thank goodness halfway through the power came back on! We got ready and packed the car up. I wanted to birth at home but I was scared something could be wrong too since I couldn't time contractions.
We got to the hospital around 5:30 am. My mom beat us there, haha. We checked in and were assigned room 16 at 6:20 am. The nurse said I was about 1-2 cm and my contractions were 2-4 minutes apart. My back hurt more than anything and the pain was very manageable for a long time. The nurse said she spoke to my doctor and she said I could go home if I wanted to around 7 am but I was afraid to leave since I couldn't time my contractions and wasn't sure if I'd know when to come back. I was so excited that my doctor was on call all weekend and I still can't believe she was. That was about the only part of the birth plan that went right. By 10 am my contractions were about a minute apart and strong. At 1 pm my doctor said I was still only 2-3 cm, 70% effaced and -3. She said that she wanted to break my water, but if she did that my contractions would be very strong and it would be very hard to labor without an epidural. I said wait a little longer to see if anything changed. We walked the halls of the hospital, I bounced on my birthing ball and we listened to my labor playlist. I also got to eat popsicles and they were such a treat! The doctor came back in around 2 pm and I decided to let her break my water even though that was something I said I wouldn't do. My contractions became unbearable after that (around 3pm). I was crying and couldn't move. I tried to push through, but in the end I asked for an epidural. The nurse came in and asked me why I didn't want one and I told her all my reasons. Once I asked for it, it couldn't come quick enough. The epidural was a horrible experience. Not only did I have to stay curved over through many, many painful contractions but she had to give me two shots and try to do it twice. I was hunched over for thirty minutes before it was over. She said my back was like concrete and it should be like foam and that I was the hardest person she's ever had to put one in. I could feel her just ramming it in my back over and over and talking about it being stuck. Finally the medicine started kicking in, but I could still feel my contractions on the left side. They rolled me on that side to try to get the medicine to move to that side. It kicked in and I was able to relax and get some rest. Around 4:30pm I was at 3-4cm and the baby was still at a -3.
By 6pm my doctor said the words I NEVER wanted (or imagined) I'd hear..."c-section". I never even considered I would have to have one and totally wrote it off (not sure why). She assured me that she was not rushing me, that she was on call all weekend and felt it was necessary. She said it would be what she would tell her daughter or her best friend. I stayed calm in front of her and I do trust her so I said ok. By this point nothing was going as planned and I was just so ready to meet my baby boy. I essentially gave up. Once she left the room I started crying and shaking uncontrollably. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever been through. Things moved so quickly. I was very drugged and groggy. All I remember is the shaking, coldness, having to say goodbye to Zac while he changed and being wheeled into a scary operating room full of people. Honestly at that point I thought to myself I want to die (isn't that terrible) or that I just wanted to be knocked out completely. All I remember from that point is Zac brushing my hair, someone talking about my cute button tattoos, Everett crying for the first time and the moment when Zac brought Everett around to see me with tears in his eyes. I thought that was the sweetest thing. Then came the resentment that I couldn't hold my baby or touch him because I had no control of my shaking arms. They wheeled me back to the recovery room and gave me some ice water. I told them it was the best ice water I'd had in my life, haha. I found out later that he was turned the wrong way and I had been in back labor (no wonder!). The nurse asked if I thought I could try to breast feed; I said yes because I knew I wanted to do that as soon as possible and bond with my baby. Once he was in my arms I stopped shaking like magic. He calmed me so much and latched on immediately. It was so peaceful just the three of us in that room together. Then they took us upstairs to our room. I was still so groggy. They took Everett to the nursery to check him out and our family watched him through the window. Then I remember my brother walking in the room to see me by himself and I thought it was so sweet that he was checking on me. They brought Everett back to the room and our family took turns holding him. The rest of the night was sort of a blur. It was hard having a c-section because I couldn't get up or get him out of his bassinet. I breastfed all night and at one point we did let the nurses take him to the nursery (something we also said we would never do) so we could get some sleep but they brought him back to me to breastfeed. I was so afraid the next day when they told me I would have to get up for the first time. It wasn't as bad as I thought though. We left the hospital as soon as we could (one day early) and were dying to be left alone and in our own bed.
Honestly, most of my birth story was a nightmare. It took me a while (2 weeks) to even want to think about it or write it all out. I would do it all over again though for the perfect angel that I got out of it. I can't even imagine life without Everett Fletcher now and have never felt so much love or so protective of anything in my life. He's the sweetest thing ever and he has my heart forever. I never want to forget the feeling of his soft downy head against my cheeks and lips :)
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